Burst The Expat Bubble & Create Your Spanish Team

Jaime Valencia
Apr 15
5 min read

Hey, it’s Coach Jaime here, and today I want to dive into something I think is really important for anyone living in Spain—how to “burst the expat bubble” and build your own network of Spanish friends. If you’re struggling to connect with locals or just don’t know where to start, stick around because this post is for you.

I’ve been an expat since 2001, have lived in five different countries, and I’m currently learning my fourth language, so I’ve experienced firsthand what it’s like to settle in new places. I’ve walked this path myself and now I’m here to share the lessons I’ve learned along the way with you today.

two locals sitting in a bar at Madrid Spain — Photo by Altamart

Why do we stay in the expat bubble?

When you first move to Spain, it’s only natural to gravitate towards other expats. You’re in a foreign country, likely with limited vocabulary, and connecting with others in the same situation is comforting. It’s easy to bond with people who speak the same language and share the same struggles.

Don’t just do what’s easy

It’s tempting to stay in the bubble because it’s easier. You have instant friends, people to talk to, and you don’t have to stumble over your words in Spanish. But here’s the thing: Are you here to do what’s easy or what’s right? One of the core values I live by—and I teach this to my clients—is to do what’s right, not what’s easy. If we only did what was easy, none of us would’ve left our home countries to live abroad and start a new life in the first place!

Being in Spain is an opportunity. You’ve already stepped out of your comfort zone by moving to a new country, so let’s take it a step further. Let’s make the most of it and create a new reality for ourselves where you’re more connected to the local culture and people.

Become a leader in your community

So, how do you do that? By becoming a leader in your own community. Being in a new country like Spain gives you a chance to start fresh, create new friendships, and build a network that’s both inspiring and diverse. But you can’t sit back and wait for Spanish friends to come to you. It’s about taking responsibility and creating opportunities.

I see a lot of expats fall into a victim mentality: “I don’t have any Spanish friends because they’re not inviting me to things.” Well, why not flip the script? Why not take the lead and invite them? Stop waiting to be invited and start creating your own reality.

How to build your Spanish team: 3 steps

Now let’s get practical. If you’re ready to burst that expat bubble and start connecting more with the locals, I’ve got three steps for you to follow.

Step 1: Tell everyone you’re learning Spanish

I mean everyone. Whether it’s the cashier at your local supermarket, your coworkers, or the parents at your kids’ school—make sure people know that you’re on this Spanish learning and integration journey. And here’s the key: tell them why it’s important to you. Is it because your kids are growing up here? Is it because you want Spanish nationality? Purely out of respect to the place you now want to call home? Whatever your reason is, make sure people understand that you’re serious about this.

It doesn’t stop with face-to-face conversations. Use social media to announce your journey. Create a post explaining what you’re doing and why. This not only holds you accountable, but it also invites people into your journey. You’ll be surprised by how much support you’ll get when you put yourself out there.

Step 2: Create a “Team Relationships Management” (TRM)

This is your version of a CRM (Customer Relationship Management), but for your personal life. It’s a system to keep track of who’s in your Spanish team. In the first step, you told everyone about your journey, and now it’s time to pay attention to who shows support or interest. Make a list of those people.

You can keep it simple—use your phone contacts, Instagram followers, or even jot it down in a notes app. Just keep track of who’s been supportive and who you want to invest more time in. This list will help you stay organised and ensure that you’re consistently working on building those relationships.

Step 3: Always-Have-Something-To-Invite-People-To

This step is a game-changer. To really build your Spanish team, you should always have something to invite people to. Whether it’s grabbing a coffee after your gym session or going to a weekend market, invite people to join you.

The key here is that these invitations shouldn’t feel like extra work. You’re already going to the market or having that coffee—just extend the invitation to someone on your list. It’s low pressure for both of you, and over time, you’ll build deeper connections with the people that accept your invitations and join you. It’s not about creating big events; it’s about consistently reaching out and building your network naturally.

Create your own reality

Ultimately, this is about taking charge of your own life in Spain. Stop waiting for invitations and start creating your own opportunities. By being proactive, you’re not just waiting around hoping someone will reach out—you’re leading the way and making things happen.

I live by these strategies, and I know they work. When I want to go to an event, I go through my TRM list and send out a few invites. Some people say no, and that’s fine. Others show up, and we have a great time. It’s all about creating that freedom of movement between both the expat and local communities.

By the way, this isn’t about being needy or looking for validation. It’s about being confident, taking responsibility, and creating a life that feels fulfilling and integrated using the power of invitations and not expecting anything directly in return.

Take action today!

So there you have it. Three steps to burst the expat bubble and build your Spanish team. Tell everyone about your journey, keep track of your relationships, and always have something to invite people to.

If this resonates with you, start today! Take these steps and watch as your world starts to open up in ways you didn’t think possible. Keep pushing yourself out of that comfort zone—it’s where the magic happens!

Need support?

I invite you to my weekly 'Intro to Spanish' live workshop.

I’ll guide you through my unique 6-step process that will help you:

✅ choose the right way to learn Spanish for YOU

✅ speed up your integration process by up to 55%

✅ and avoid the 12 most common mistakes that expats make in Spain

It's perfect for beginners who don’t know how to start learning Spanish and for Duolingo users who still feel stuck and can’t speak confidently, as well as for anyone taking lessons but still feel disconnected from the locals.

If you want to join 100% free, simply visit www.ablaacademy.com/workshop and save your spot today!

"Meet the Guest" cover in bold yellow text and a yellow paper plane graphic in the foreground

Jaime Valencia - Director of ABLA Academy & Host of The Good Expat podcast.

As a Spanish Coach, the founder of ABLA Academy and the host of The Good Expat Podcast, I’ve helped over 300 clients speak CONFIDENT SPANISH™ in just 10 weeks to integrate and truly feel at home in Spain. I’m also an expat since 2001, lived in five countries, and I'm currently learning my fourth language. I've spent the last decade in the fields of education, mindset and personal development.