Privileged Problems
- Amanda Cuffe
- Nov 3
- 4 min read
A few months ago, I was faced with a problem that could not be easily solved. The last bit of that sentence is important to note as it’s not often that I find myself in situations with no obvious solution. Yes, I do believe that there is never a ‘right’ solution, but I also think that the best one always tends to make its way forward out of the pack - ‘pick me pick me!’ it says - ‘you know I’m the top option amongst all these other guys!’
But the problem I was facing in to was not like that. There was no solution pushing its way to the forefront, in fact, the various options were all fighting with each other and running around in circles. I often think of the ‘children’s’ movie, “Inside Out” when I am in these situations. I imagine all my different personality traits conflicting - Anxiety often taking the lead with Fear shadowing in the background and Joy bursting through the doors every so often to spray some happiness around. Oh to be in my mind.
Earlier this year I learnt that my one year contract on the Cayman Islands was not going to be extended. This may sound like a small problem, but in the context of Cayman and my industry, it was a big, hairy one. An expats ability to stay on the island hinges on two things: their work or their marital status. For Harry and I, the idea of getting married for a visa was off the table. For some couples it works, but for us, it just wasn’t going to be right.
So that left one option - try and find another job in a market that lends itself (as it should do) to local Caymanian candidates and has limited opportunities for expats that are not lawyers or accountants. And if I failed at that - get booted off the island or worse, live as a tourist there with nothing to do each day. For expats that have not lived on the Cayman Islands before, this conundrum may seem fickle but to any fellow island friends and in particular, ‘lawyer wives’, you will understand. The stress of ‘what am I going to do?’ started to become overwhelming.
When I prepared my vision board for 2025, one of the key words I had stuck front and centre was “CONTROL”. After a couple of years of pivoting, shifting gears and maintaining resilience, the only thing I knew for sure is that I needed to be in the driver's seat of my 2025 year, not a passenger. And so, it was time to call a CEO meeting.
I stole the concept of a CEO meeting from my dear best friend of 27 years. She shared that she and her long term partner (now husband) call a CEO meeting when they need to sit down and discuss something in the absence of distraction and with complete respect and unwavering attention for the other person. In essence, it’s the two CEO’s of the company (the family) showing up ready to talk business.
When we sat down, we realised that the most difficult thing about this CEO meeting was that there was no clear solution to the problem at hand. Every angle we looked at presented another problem and nothing seemed quite right. Regrouping and aligning was good but walking away without a solution was deflating.
We kept mulling on our options for a few more weeks, assessing the pros and cons of each. It wasn’t until I had a phone call with a sister-esque friend that I re-centred and let go. She listened to me, really heard me and then she said something that flipped my perspective - ‘Amanda, these are all privileged problems’. It was a moment where I truly felt the stress and worry shed from my body. I came up for air and helicoptered the situation I was in. I could live on a beautiful island in the Caribbean, relocate back to London, settle down in Australia, hustle in New York City… the birds eye view did not look too bad.
From that moment on, I calmed myself dramatically with this new perspective. Yes, I still had a problem to solve but I had a different mindset about it. How lucky was I to be given this privileged problem. And as it goes, three weeks later I was offered a job back in London, a city that I know and love with friendship that make my heart beat. My year (or just shy of) wrapped up on the island and I found my way back to city life. Harry and our beautiful island cat remain on the island but the long distance in the scheme of things feels small.
And so here we are, back in London and being thankful everyday for this life I am living.
More to come on my life back in the big smoke…
AC X
Meet AC (that’s me!) - your fellow expat, world traveler, risk taker and more. In this article, you’ll get up to speed with my current life in London, my impending move to the Cayman Islands and why I’ve chosen to have a Carrie Bradshaw moment and write about it all. Enjoy!
If you enjoyed this article, you can discover more in my column: Excess Baggage
