Are you losing touch with who you truly are?

adjustments be yourself expat community practice tools women living abroad Jul 10, 2022

When something feels off and we don't know why (i.e. nothing specific happened to cause this feeling), it's often because we distanced ourselves from our core: our values, strengths, beliefs etc.

It's normal, it happens to the best, us included, but the key is to find ways to reconnect with ourselves . . . and the sooner the better.

When we live abroad, we have this increased desire to fit in, become 'local' to the best of our possibility. We want to blend in. 

Actually, this is also true for other situations in life, when we start a new job, when we meet the friends and family of a partner, or even when we start a new hobby in a group. Those life situations, among others, require us to make some adjustments in who we are, so that we align with others.

We adapt to the humor of others, so that we can laugh at their jokes, we learn the new language, culture, traditions. We get some new clothes, adopt new food in our routine, and even sometimes start a new activity we never thought we'd do beforehand.

All those things are amazing, and we're encouraging you to do them (we're doing them too to be honest), as long as you don't become a stranger to yourself in the process.

We had a couple situations in our expat lives, when we felt like we became stranger to ourselves, we didn't feel like our best-selves, and it was . . .  not so pleasing, to say the least. But we had to go to those extremes, to figure out that something was going terribly wrong. When we felt like we couldn't speak about what's on our mind, when we couldn't act like we used to, when we couldn't wear this dress we loved so much - just because we knew someone might say something about it.

Ohhh just thinking of that, it makes us itchy.

These have not been our best times, and to be fair, recently we feel like this again. Trying to please others, to do like they say, distancing ourselves from our core, and unsurprisingly this feeling that something is not right, rises back up to the surface.

So, what we're about to share with you right now, is actually what we're doing these days as well to make sure we're not losing touch with who we are:

Stop & Disconnect yourself
You got to distance yourself a bit from whatever makes you feel this way, so you can see the bigger picture, and even appreciate again what it is. But for now, just take a couple of days off from it - whether it's your friends, work, family, diet, workout . . .
* If you can do a change of scenery, it's even better.

Do something that brings you joy
Take action, don't wait for others to make you feel better. Do something that gives you energy, makes you feel good and boosts your system. Make sure it's something you really enjoy doing, and not because someone else said this is what you should be doing. Do this for YOU. 

Realign with your values
Our values are our guidelines, and sometimes when we distance ourselves from those, everything feels wrong. So make sure you know your values, you can use this free tool to check, and start verifying your day-to-day by checking you are aligned with your values. 


Lastly, we know it's not always easy to deal with this "off" feeling alone (we're very lucky to have one another during these times), so we just wanted to say that you have us! and we're here for you, and if you feel like it, you can book here a free friendly call with us and we can discuss it together


Sending positive vibes your way 

Maayan & Gal


Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

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