When Your Friendships Need Some Adjustments

adjustments expat community friendships positive mindset tips for expats Jan 20, 2022
Friends being together

Friend. [frend] noun. Someone who is aware of how 'special' you are and still agree to be seen with you in public, and who can make you laugh until you pee your pants; even from the other side of the world.

How crazy it is, when two total strangers become real friends.

It always fascinates us, this 'click' or 'Aha moment' when you realize this person you've been getting to know . . . is actually becoming your friend.

We never really know, how and when it happens, it just does.

And it feels pretty awesome when it happens quickly, right?! 

As adults, creating new friendships can be challenging, we don't have that many interactions with new people as we used to have before, or maybe we're just making it more complicated than it is. Look how kids are doing it, simple, right?

Either way, because we are social creatures (some more than others, we know ), we make sure we have friends around.

When living abroad, this whole notion of friendships tend to be even more challenging.

We have our friendships from back home - and they are super valuable to us. But somewhere down the road, we might lose some of those, and at the same time, we want a friend (maybe more than one) with who we can meet for a cup of coffee.

So we tend to stay where it is "comfortable" & known:
We accumulate and hold onto friendships that no longer serve a purpose or that we have any pleasure in them. Or we try to make new friendships mainly with others that speak the same native language as us (cause it seems like they'll get us better, and it will definitely be easier to communicate with them).

Don't get us wrong, most of us also keep in touch with excellent friends that we should continue to have in our lives! And making new friends who speak the same language, is actually a smart move - for a start ;)

But the thing is that we tend to play it safe.
And you're living in a new country - it's your life now, don't hold back to known & safe. Go BIG!

Now you might be telling yourself right now that it is super hard to make new friends in a new country, we know! We're dealing with it too, but it is possible and it's up to you.
We actually gave some tips about what you can do on our latest IG live.

The thing is, living abroad is actually a great opportunity to make some friendships adjustments.
Both in our friendships back home, and the new one where we currently live.

We should take this opportunity and ask ourselves "Am I in a positive, healthy friendship?"

Friendships exists for a purpose. They should make us feel good and give us as much as it requires from us. It is not about the number of times you talk or meet. It's about the feelings.
How this person, this friendship, makes you feel?

Like everything in life, nothing is black or white, same goes for friendships. We all have ups and downs - that's normal. But overall when you think of a friend, how does he/she makes you feel? And be honest with yourself.

So as we said before, living abroad is actually a great opportunity to make some friendships adjustments. Maybe some friendships should become secondary, while other takes the lead. Maybe it's time to invest more in a certain friendship, or create new ones.
It really is up to you. You decide who you have in your life - so make sure you have the right one with you - and thank them for being your friends! We talked a little bit more about it here, check it out

On a last note, if you've heard us before, you know we talk a lot about how handy positive mindset is while living abroad, BUT, between you and us, it does help to have some friends around - for support, casual coffee, and laughter until you pee your pants. 

And we would like to be friends with you, so just drop us a quick email or DM on social media, we would love to know you more! 

Sending positive vibes your way ✨

Maayan & Gal 


Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

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