My International Love Story
- Dara Wissinger Pütz
- Feb 10
- 6 min read
Finding true love in the most unexpected of places – Shanghai, China
When I felt it to my core that I had to move to China, I couldn’t tell you why I was so passionate about going. I knew no Mandarin, I had never been to Asia, I didn’t know a soul who lived there yet, I knew when I got my job offer to move, I had to say yes. I had to do whatever it took (including an abundance of tears, sleepless nights and high visa costs) to get there. During the stressful six-month process of applying for my visa I had many moments of thinking ‘What am I doing?’ but I still felt so deeply moved that I never gave up. I could never explain then why I felt so strongly about this, but I can explain it now. I was meant to move to Shanghai, China to meet my German husband.
When I received the job offer from Disney English while in the process of finishing my master’s degree, I knew this was the opportunity of a lifetime. What I didn’t know is it would bring me not only lasting friendships, a boatload of memories and stories but the love of my life too. I was not looking for a husband at the time since I was only 24 years old and just trying to survive life in China. Yet, as the saying goes, it always happens when you least expect it. Our relationship progressed quickly as it normally does when you are an expat abroad. There was no dancing around the topic of whether we were serious or not because he quickly became my emergency contact after a few dates.
Living abroad you become hyper independent, and you must grow your own community to lean on for support when your entire family is a day plus journey away. We had to make serious life decisions early on in our relationship and bet there to support and take care of each other in medical emergencies. Of which there were many illnesses while living in smog filled winters of China. Not only does living abroad strengthen and fortify your relationship early but so does traveling abroad together.
My biggest advice to any couple is to travel together. Travel somewhere outside of your comfort zone and somewhere you have never been. The best test is to travel somewhere with a huge language barrier and with a deep jet lag curve. You cannot hide the most flawed versions of yourself in these scenarios and this is where your relationship can soar.
We had a trip to Thailand early on in our relationship. Neither of us had ever been and neither of us spoke Thai. Thailand is fairly user friendly for tourists but having it be our first trip together we learned A LOT. Honestly, I wasn’t sure our relationship was going to make it out alive after that trip. Of course, it did and we kept traveling around Asia and testing the limits of our patience in the relationship. If we didn’t have several international trips under our belt before our marriage I would not have been as confident in the timing of saying yes.
My International happily ever after
Believe it or not, I never had a wedding plan in mind. I was never a little girl imagining how my wedding had to look someday. I had sure ideas but never a drawn-out plan or true heartfelt desires. I just knew I wanted a wedding where my friends and family could relax, have fun and I would walk down the aisle to my best friend. I did indeed have that for my wedding it just so happened to be at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. A true happily ever after wedding location.
Even though I am a former cast member, I never thought having a wedding at a Disney Park was in my cards. When we got engaged, we were still living in Shanghai with my family in Delaware and his in Germany. We started researching the paperwork process and discovered getting married in America was worlds easier than in Germany. I would have loved to have gotten married in America, but I didn’t want the planning burden to fall on my mom since we were not in the country. So, we started looking at destination weddings and Disney just so happened to make it onto the list.
Now, before you ask, I did not receive any incentive or discount to have my wedding at Walt Disney World for being a previous cast member. Of course, I love the company, and I love the parks. With easy to plan and affordable (at the time over 5 years ago) options having a destination wedding in Walt Disney World made sense. Our families would be travelling on somewhat equal journeys, and the parks provided a great way for them to bond together. It also completed our full circle journey of us visiting every single Disney Park across the globe (a story for a different day). For us, having a magical fairytale wedding made the most sense and I would plan the same way all over again.
Newlyweds in a COVID-19 world
Our happily ever after as newlyweds began right at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic in the heart of Asia – Singapore. We moved to Singapore two months after we said, ‘I do’ and we expected our first year of marriage to be largely separated as my husband was scheduled to travel majority of the year. What a blessing for us that lockdowns were imposed for months across the island. We were able to start our new marriage with quality bonding (albeit COVID-19 anxiety ridden) together. To us, COVID-19 was a huge blessing in giving us the gift of time to have deep conversations and meaningful time together. I truly believe this helped us to start our marriage off on a great foundation.
Don’t get me wrong, being quarantined and in multiple lockdowns together for months and months really tested our marriage. Having these tests early on though really taught us how best to handle these challenges. We were able to create impactful and constructive habits that we have carried through our marriage. We leaned into very open communication about anxiety and fears as it felt like our lives were surrounded by it for years. We relied solely on each other as we couldn’t reach our families for years as well. We strengthened our bond by wanting and loving being around each other 24/7.
I know this is not everyone’s COVID-19 newlywed story and I know ours could have gone very differently as well. I recognize my blessings in having a spouse who is the perfect fit for me and works hard every day to strengthen our marriage. As challenging and scary as living through the pandemic was, I am so grateful I was able to do so with my husband by my side in a brand-new country.
What the future has in store for us
I hope and pray we both live to be over 100 years old and die together peacefully in our sleep at the same time. We soak up all the time we can together and are constantly planning our future. I love living a life where I am excited to wake up and go to bed with my favorite person in the whole wide world. Our next chapters will hopefully be filled with not only joy, prosperity and good health but also endless travels and someday a family of our own. I hope for you, dear reader, you are blessed enough to find the same early on in life like we did.
Join us for our next adventure to Tanzania in a few short weeks via my Instagram @daradew
Meet Dara
Originally I am from the very first and second smallest state in America, Delaware. After achieving my masters degree I wanted to take a 'gap year' to work in Shanghai, China with Disney. I met my husband in Shanghai and somehow that 'gap year' turned into more than 8 years of living abroad! I have lived across three continents and four countries before I turned 30 and I wouldn't be surprised if those statistics change again before I am 40. I currently reside in the land of fairytale inspiration itself, Bavaria, Germany with my German husband. I love the thrill of visiting somewhere new and I am passionate about planning every single detail for all of our trips. I have always wanted to share my knowledge and expertise from this magical life abroad and thus this column was born. Join me as I take you from Delaware to Everywhere.
If you enjoyed this article, you can discover more in my column: From Delaware To Everywhere
